The birth of my business. The birth of my third baby.
I stepped in.
It’s been almost a year. On January 20, 2021 on inauguration day, I remember so vividly that I shared with the outside world that I would be stepping into a new venture and I wrote about it here.
In the space of eighteen months, I was furloughed, laid off, unemployed, started a business, was working as a stay-at-home mom and entrepreneur, and went from a secure paycheck to the uncertain financial stakes of being a new business owner. I don’t think anyone can prepare you for the undertaking of creating a business. While in your first year, you experience the highs, the lows, the triumphs, the losses and anything that you may have been insecure or less than confident will be shining brightly to let you know. It’s why I think entrepreneurship finds you, you don’t choose it. Most recently, we found out we’re due with our third child in February! I feel I’ve experienced all the iterations of growth in a year. It was a year long of several seasons in a wild playground of exploration that helped me find my calling for this stage of my career, and ultimately becoming a Life Coach for working moms. Sometimes your growth has to happen in the pause, in between space, and the negative void that sometimes initially feels like a loss in so many ways until you reach the gem within it.
I made an intentional decision.
It was a day and several months into this pandemic that I made this mindful decision. A decision that nagged in between my bones, that was part of my DNA, that was the purpose of sharing in the here-and-now and also one that felt, in that very moment, it was time to come out of hiding. To no longer keep that voice inside. My story needed to be shared, no matter how vulnerable, how messy, how many signs I may have missed. Like working moms all around the country, I needed to express my truth. The one that was covered up for too long. I wasn’t going back to full-time work. I wasn’t going to look for a position. I was going to start my own business. I was just beginning.
It began at my furlough stage.
My story began at my furlough where I just began writing but had no idea that later on a business would be born out of it. But the truth was, I had been burned out long before my furlough. I started a blog, Untethered Mother Vibes, about my experience of being a working mom. I poured myself into writing as if a bursting pipe exploded and asked me to articulate in words what survival and your nervous system looks like as a working mom. The way I felt on a daily basis was as if my body, head, and mind were detached and I was in a state of constant directions, stress, and overwhelm. My brain literally didn’t have capacity for more pieces of information to process or crunch. I was running from one thing to the next, on short bandwidth and deeply scared I’d never find a way out of it. It was the furlough that was the biggest opening and invitation, a circumstance that has shifted my life in a way that has changed the trajectory of physical, mental, and emotional health. It was also through my furlough that I tapped into my creativity and my ability to dig out the suppressed parts of myself that were deeply covered by the overwhelm, burnout, and exhaustion of being on the hamster wheel with very young kids for so long.
Along the way, I documented how I began to uncover this truth. Much of it was Giving One hour of joy a week but also networking. I had a mantra that I was going to radically take care of myself this round. And I knew my authentic self would come back to the surface so that my light would come back on. It was dim for too long.
I explored where I was going to pivot.
I began to chat informally with life coaches. I wanted to learn about the field, what they enjoyed, what it was like and check it out to see if it was a fit for me. I didn't do it from a place of urgency, but a place of exploration. I continued to follow those breadcrumbs, continued to write, use my creative side, and invite things that were not so part of my day-to-day life before. Then while discovering that the world of Life Coaching has many programs and flavors, I was a bit overwhelmed about how to choose and where to go from there. I took time to marinate on it until I landed on the program that best aligned with how I could serve working moms.
Along the way, I’ve used my research skills, intuitive networking superpowers, and ability to connect with others close to my passion to get connected to groups, networks, and resources to figure out this new entrepreneurial path. As a result, life coaching became the next part of my purpose.
While life coaching seemed aligned with my background and skills, building a business was not something I had done before. I’ve always been used to standard operating procedures at work or ones that I made to guide the path. I’ve found that as a new business owner, I hardly had a road map or compass and basically have been pin balling around seeing what seems like the next right step while trying to be cognizant of not burning out or going back to where I started. So all the while I’ve gotten really comfortable with a few things.
Being in the unknown everyday.
Not knowing where the path leads financially
Developing my trust when it’s not certain how the next part of my business will develop.
I built my business without throwing myself in at 150% velocity and speed. The effort and passion was that percentage but realistically with the adjustments I made at home for myself personally and my family, I could not commit that many hours per week. The purpose and mission of my work is sustainability. So I intentionally and organically paced myself. As a naturally motivated and productive person, it still has taken me time to strategize work flows while juggling family and purpose. I’m living proof that it can be done at your own speed with ease.
I’m expecting my 3rd child.
I’m expecting my third child in February 2022 and I can say, I’ve been the most healthy, grounded, and fulfilled I have been in a long time. Much of that is because I’ve had the autonomy to create, work less hours, take care of my mental health, and go at a pace that works for myself and my family. What a phenomenon that would be so sustainable for more working moms. I basically did this test for myself as an experiment. I previously dealt with very long periods of postpartum depression, anxiety, and insomnia that went undiagnosed for far too long with my other children. I was one of many working moms that fell through the cracks without a voice.
What I learned in a year
Whether you are an entrepreneur or have a full-time job with an employer, there is no security in life. This is elusive conditioning.
If you’re starting a new business, you may not be met with encouragement and support from your closest relationships, family, and friends. Your ability to work through that barrier or obstacle will be telling what it means to you.
I made an intentional choice (even though I didn’t know where things were going) to take care of my mental health and figure out a way to make things work financially.
I have been pregnant twice, the first two pregnancies were filled with being a ragged, overwhelmed, burned-out, and overtaxed working mom.
My third pregnancy (while starting this business) has been defined by giving myself more bandwidth in my schedule and time to be with my kids, creating a better flow in my family life and ease to manage both of my roles.
I continually try things that make me feel uncomfortable and take me out of my comfort zone.
The formula for me with my kids under 6 would be working part-time and being available to them with the ebbs and flows of life.
My learned reflections in the childbearing years
I’ve now had enough life experience and reflection in my 30s, almost 9 years of being in the childbearing years and witnessing what it’s like to work fulltime, part time, be a stay-at-home parent, be unemployed, furloughed, and underpaid, and anything in between. I know my true value as a working mom, one that won’t compromise my mental health. After all, our lives are meant to be fulfilling and filled with joy. I am embracing all the parts of me now and living authentically with purpose. Living with your purpose fully will be part of my guided career choices going forward.
You get to choose...While paid and unpaid leave and work life cultures will be shifting in the next decade as we figure out remote life, hybrid life, work schedules, four-day work weeks, pay equity, gender discrimination, benefits, and a myriad of other issues on the table, what this pandemic and global crisis has showed me is that YOU CHOOSE.
You choose when it takes time. You choose to begin or not begin. You choose when you’re struggling. You choose to keep trying. You choose to keep evolving. You choose to keep finding a new way that suits you.
You choose and make that decision for yourself regardless of the policy and changes that can get in the way. It may be too slow to catch up to your needs. I am doing it and I keep doing it every day. I want my children to see their mom as a happy, thriving, and fulfilled individual. I am living the working mom life in real time and I'm actively reflecting on it as it's happening.
While identity can shake many working moms while you’re with your little ones, it's hard to imagine how this will all shake out once you're kids are older. You may speak to moms with older kids but while you're in it, you're in the rat race with many others. There are glimmers of trying to figure out how to come back to yourself but I know there is a better model here that is about integrating ways to live in harmony with our personal and professional lives and our wellbeing. We don't need to arrive at burnout to reach our goals or make shifts in our daily lives.
Every parent wants to witness and be a part of our kids' lives. And every person and individual wants to feel appreciated, valued, and inspired on their path. And I think that’s why life coaching resonated for me. I understand the nuanced situations that parents face in trying on the many hats of what type of work and family formula works best for them. It will be unique to each person.
But one thing I know: Give yourself permission to embrace that path for your wellbeing and do the one that keeps your cup full so you’re thriving and not just surviving.
It began with me.
My business has come to be a voice for working moms. One that was to be stripped down and raw. Revealing what goes on for many. Not in sympathy but in truth. My struggles and challenges would be a part of those who have felt isolated, fallen through the cracks, and trying to figure out how to achieve balance in their life and yet still want purposeful work. Those who want to gracefully get off that endless hamster wheel. I no longer am hiding my story.
My life's work right now is witnessing how this plays out in real time for so many women and how we can find a new way forward. I’m passionate about women taking a bigger priority in their own wellbeing to make that happen. Today’s modern day working parent does not resemble the same mom from thirty years ago. The work, the stress, the overwhelm, the childcare costs, the expectations, the parental leave, and work week all have profound effects on why I believe today’s working mom is a ragged, rung out and burned out mom to no fault of her own. There is no one-size-fits-all formula. It’s however that format works for the individual. It could be through staying at one’s role, a pivot, or a new business. That’s where I feel the biggest challenge is for working moms, they lack the support to find the balance and support they need so they can thrive.
It began with me and I’m a link to every working mom and this is also deeply personal because I want something different for my daughters. I want them to thrive without feeling like grinding, overwork, stress, and overwhelm have to be the way to raise children and find career fulfillment.
I want them to be excited about creating.
I want them to feel empowered in their life in whatever job, career or pathway evolves for them.
And to use their voice always. Never to hide.
This year has been a journey to say the least. One filled with highs and lows, and wins and losses, and things I would not have expected of myself. But stretching my muscles in various ways has connected me to something bigger than myself.
That is, the wellbeing of working moms all over this country. It’s about reaching for a more sustainable life. And we’re just getting started.
I am deeply grateful for all those who have crossed my path, read an article I’ve written or shared a podcast appearance with me. I feel witnessed, empowered, and seen.
So as I continue to sow the threads of my passion to help working moms, I also am celebrating the 29 points of connection that I’ve had thus far in my year end review as a business owner, mompreneur and fellow working mom.
There may be more, but it was the first time I’m cataloging the year in a way just as my oldest, a kindergartener, is learning to write her numbers and do sight words. It’s a good thing to take a step back and enjoy all the small and big wins and the connections made.
9 articles on Elephant Journal
7 articles on LinkedIn
6 guest appearances on podcasts
1 blog post on Mindful Return
1 article for Flourish Fund
1 panelist, Metrowest Fall Conference
1 workshop, The Realities of Work & Life Balance
1 feature on Influence Digest
The truth is when mom is thriving, the rest of the world is. Parents with young kids are very busy but we are as busy as we make our schedules. I’m proud that I’ve taken this step to intentionally craft my year with more ease, wellbeing, and gratitude. I’m truly serving and connecting these threads because I care about the future wellbeing of working moms.
It’s all come full circle. If you’re finding yourself in one or more parts of the journey I’ve experienced, please reach out at christine@christineanastasia.com. I offer 1-1 coaching and group programs and welcome the opportunity to work with you.
Wishing you a healthy and joyous holiday season!
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Email: christine@christineanastasia.com
Website: https://christineanastasia.com/
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