Untethered Mother Vibes...what does this title mean to me?

When I started this blog at the beginning of the pandemic in March, it was as if the source of my being exploded. The fountain of truth bursting from the valve below the ground. It was as if the cap was taking off and my feelings, emotions and nuances of motherhood were ready to share and be with mothers navigating this time in their lives.  When I first started with the name, the “untethered” part, I wanted to describe the very feeling I had which was “unglued” or “coming undone.”  At that the time my daily life was programmed and on the “hamster wheel.” The hamster wheel looked like being the “ceo” of everything in my house. Trying to control and make all the things run.  Trying to pick up the balls as they were falling and continue to ‘support’ financially for the family. It didn’t appear at the time there was another way.  I was burning the candle from both ends.  My cycle looked like this;

I have a full time job.  And another pretty big one at home that starts at 6 pm.

I have two kids under 4.  

I have huge expenses and daycare bills. 

I am unhappy. 

I am angry. I’m burned out.  

I’m scared. 

I’m filled with anxiety and fear about if and when I’ll get out. 

And, I’m frightened about my mental health. 

That was the internal dialogue reel I was having with myself.  It played over and over as I tried to get up at 5:30 am, get myself ready, try my best to get the girls jumped out of bed with my husband (bags, lunches, tears, and stress), all before 7 am.  It felt uncomfortable and like I was pushing and trying to get a square peg into a round hole.  I was grasping and I so wanted to be “saved” from that period.  I tried to share with my family what I was going through. Of course I knew they felt bad but there was not much that they could do from their standpoint.  I tried to share with friends and some understood. And some told me, it would be the toughest year of my life and that it would build resilience and my kids would “see” me as a role model and working to provide for the family.  Well, this advice just didn’t “sit” with me in an authentic way.  I frankly thought this working full time and raising young kids left me gassed out, “untethered”, not connected to my body and mind and my brain was so cluttered with so much activity that there would be no “unstructured” time for letting the brain rest.  So that very life I was leading left me “untethered” and a bit unhinged. I wasn’t connected to my source. I wasn’t connected to the parts of me that bring me peace and joy.  It was a problem that I wanted to resolve within myself and my family.  That untethered mother vibe was a low vibration at the time.  So our vibrations often change over phases of our life and periods of time. This would be the next chapter of a huge period of growth and it wasn’t an easy one. I’ve always felt that there is no “quick” fix for anything you experience in your life, and certainly not motherhood.  You have to take time to “tend” to different parts of yourself to get closer to reaching your “homeostasis”. “Homeostasis” and optimal living looks different for every mother since society paints a very busy and “running” on fumes, doing all the things, and over giving picture of mothers of today. That just does not resonate with me.

After all, aren’t we all trying to live in peaceful and optimal daily living?  

So as my writing evolves, just like motherhood, I wanted to capture how things shift over time. I share this with you because Untethered Mother Vibes also has symbolism to “set you free”...what I hope to translate and pass on to moms that are trying to find a better way, it starts with YOU.  It begins with realizing that it is easy to be in “victim” mode. The work that I’ve put in this year on myself has brought back more creativity, joy, and ease.  I feel untethered with a higher vibration.  I’m showing up in the world to serve and give mothers hope there is another way.  The other way requires you to peel back some of the “old” ways of living. 

It requires a commitment to yourself.  

To your self care. To your mental health. 

To your purpose and your values.  

When you become “untethered” for reasons that line up with your values, you become free.  

You live more. 

You love more. 

You see things a bit more clearly.  

You are present. 

And most of all, you are “being” instead of doing.